A good conspiracy theory is an unprovable one.

Dear followers, two weeks ago I was kidnapped/pod personed/abducted by aliens. I’m not sure who’s been writing my blog posts, but I suspect it’s an impostor. How else do you explain the lack of parcast Conspiracy Theory posts? Or the lack of completed projects lately? This impostor has hardly been knitting at all. I bet they’re even eating food I despise like coffee and lima beans. One would think the kitties would notice the switch a roo, but honestly any biped could feed them and snuggle them. Cats have no human loyalty.

My greatest fear: the headlights following me from the day job every night are surveillance. The Man is trying to figure out the best times to abduct my yarn stash! Maybe I should start tagging it with a tracking device.